To my boy, on his 4th birthday

I should have known, he's the celebration purist. 

He insists on having a star on the tree and making sure Daddy has some sort of birthday candles to blow out on his cake. 

I didn't plan a party for Elias' birthday, not because I don't love him to actual pieces but because I thought we could make him feel super special doing fun family events without a party. But sometime last week, one of my sweet bff's from college mentioned she'd like to come into town for Elias' birthday and Elias mentioned he'd like a pirate pinata, not any other kind. Um, we needed a party! So we called it a best-friends-from-college with a birthday party attached. Then Elias overtook my phone conversation with the Rubes the other day and boldly announced that he wanted her, Hunkle Josh, AnnaJaye, Abigail, Able, & baby Asher to all be at his party and help break his pinata. Even though it wasn't in her plans, you better believe that Ruby obeyed. And I'm so glad she did! 

The day before his party, he started inquiring about his party essentials - making sure his mama would have stuff together. Streamers, chocolate cake, balloons, and pirate costumes. Ummmmm.... ok. Last minute trip to Walmart! 

I love that sweet little party purist. 
Elias, I love your guts so much. 
I love that you have to count to four to remember that you're turning four. I love that you ask, "you ok, Mom?" five times a day at least. I love that you tackle Benja first thing in the morning. I love that you say, "knows what?". I love that you still need to cuddle once a day. I love your vast expressions that only your Dad and I mostly get to see. I think it's hilarious that you're obsessed with going to the bathroom in public places. I love every little thing about you. 

And I think this is a big year for you. 
You're going to learn to tie your shoes, and probably to tell time. I think you should be able to do both of those things exceedingly well since you can beat all the levels of angry birds and I'm stuck on level four. Your dad and I are praying this is the year the Lord calls you to Himself and gives you a new heart. That would be a very special year indeed. 


Elias - I just think you're the greatest four year old in the world. 
Thank you Lord for entrusting us with this special boy, and thanks special boy for being who you are. We love you. 
Mom & Dad

tales from the thrift

Ok. Let's get down to business. 

First a review. 

I'm not buying any new clothing in 2011, read about that here. 

I was planning a big goodwill trip for last weekend & did this post to do some planning. 

Some things I wanted: 

denim jumper/babydoll dress

button down shirt

braided belt

cut off shorts

loafers

nautical stripes

cardigans

feminine tops

big girl lady pants

slim fit boyfriend jeans

Well I'll tell you what. I was walking around that Goodwill saying "HALLELUJAH!" with my sister laughing at me. I found many of those silly, exact items. Almost exactly. 

Here's some of what I found: 

feminine top #1 

feminine top #2

lady pants. these look a LOT better in person. 

nautical cardigan.

running skirt? at Goodwill? Can you say thank you LORD?

button-down. 

my plan for the button-down, with some new loafers & belt.  

cute Elias, helping me style an outfit.

I think you remember these running pants, ahem.

close up of the shoes.

made some jeans into cutey shorts.

denim babydoll button-down jumper dress

not pictured, but still found: 

- slim fit boyfriend jeans

- cropped sweatpants, sort of like this 

- wrappy, ballet style top

In full disclosure, what I spent: 

$50 of leftover Christmas money plus a generous donation from the Goodwill-fairy on thirteen items. That's $3.84/per item on average. 

Woosh. Is anyone else exhausted? 

To summarize: 

a) Thrift shopping is neat. And cheap. 

b) A plan sure doesn't hurt. 

c) I will hire myself out for personal-thrift-shopping-fit-sessions for the fee of 

vintage loafers and or denim jumpers. Or coffee. 

Shoot, I'll do it for free ya'll. 

keeping it real

I've been trying all week to get together a good thrift post for ya'll but a thyroid flare up is forcing me in bed at 8pm each night. I'm hoping it will be ready for tomorrow, but in the meantime - why don't we do a little keeping it real? If I'm about to show you how INCREDIBLY stylish I am (bahahahha) and the cutting edge fashions I found at Goodwill this past weekend, first - I'll give you a glimpse of how it's really going down over here. 

This is me. At Target. 
Busted purple nails.
Glasses. 
Noooooo makeup. 
Borrowed "USC Mom" sweatshirt from my mama. 
This is my official "take Nick to work at 8am outfit" for the past two days. I do change into normal clothes for the bulk of the day, but sometimes I make an on-the-way-home-trip-to-Target first. Oops. 
Oh, and I did get these running pants from Goodwill so that counts for something, right?
And here are my glamorous co-shoppers. 

You can't tell, but Benj is still in his jammies. 
And Glory is in the middle of saying, "dooooooo NOT take my picture!". 
She's very compliant. 
I know this is a poopy picture, I just took it to show you how hilarious a cart full of three toddlers looks. 


And one more little piece of goodness. 
I'm restraining myself from doing a whole post on this, because it would be VERY obnoxious but I kind of think Benjamin is a genius. In the past few weeks, his vocab has skyrocketed and he is talking in four or five word sentences, almost exclusively. Doesn't that seem a little excessive for an 19 month old? Or am I just an obnoxious mom? 

My questions for today: 
a) Do you steal your mama's sweatshirts? 
(sooo sorry, Mom - my answer is yes, but I promise to return it)
b) Can your almost three year old escape a Target cart that quickly and would you EVER go to Target if she could? (my answer is yes, she can and no, it doesn't stop me. And using a different cart doesn't help - she's like Houdini.)
and c) Is Benja a genius or am I obnoxious? (feel free to answer honestly) 

my minas

Have you read the parable of the talents in Luke 19? 

Can I do a horrible paraphrase for you? 

Jesus tells a story about a businessman who sends out ten workers, with ten minas (talents, pieces of currency) to go do business. One of the men takes his ten minas and makes ten more minas with it. One man takes his minas and makes five more minas. One of the fellows basically buries his, to keep it safe, because he's heard his boss is a strict man and he doesn't want to risk it. When it comes time to report to the boss, he blesses everyone according to what they've reaped - ten extra minas to the man who made ten extra. Five extra to the man who made five extra. But the guy who hid his and didn't make any money, he takes his away and gives it to another worker because his boss believes he should've invested it. 

I read this a few weeks ago, and couldn't move forward for days. 

A friend of mine out west used to always say, "We all only have twenty four hours in a day, no more - no less. Everyone just chooses to do something different with their twenty-four hours". My sister and I had a similar conversation this past weekend as she talked about adding a fourth baby to their life and she told me she was finding something has to give. Always, right? You add a baby, what do you subtract? Shoot - I added three and subtracted most of my actual sanity and daily hygiene for a few years. I'm working on that now. 

Anyhow, I've been holding this hands up to the Lord most mornings asking my Father what He wants to fill them with. What are my minas? What are the talents that I need to heartily invest in? I think I've hid from them, too scared to mess them up or lose them or forget about them like a burned dinner in the oven. It's time to take a look again. The burdens, the blessings, the gifts, the people who I could pour myself out for to reap an eternal reward - not just for myself, but in an effort to grow the Kingdom of God. 

Because, right, if it's just not about that - I just don't want to do it. 

Even when I think I do. 

I don't. 

So here's what I've come up with. Here are my talents, my coins to invest, my minas. 

So far. 

Nicholas Connolly

For sure one of the biggest blessings in my life, I want to make an investment in his. I want to serve him in a way that helps him know Christ better and encourage him in a way that makes him feel loved not just by me, but by the Lord as well. I want to send him out of my home each morning physically nourished and spiritually ready - not dragged down by the weight of his wife or family, but spurred on to provide for us - for the glory of God. I want to fan the flame of the Spirit's drive in Him as a pastor and be a submissive and meek tool of sharpening for His heart. I want to leave him better than I found him each day. 

Elias Powell

I want to love and teach my eldest son in a way that makes him want to be just like his father and His Father. I want to invest in His gifts and build up His talents. I want to play paper airplanes with him and be a good wife in front of him so that He'll know how to spot one later on. I want to broaden his horizons on the food front and teach him how to love smoothies and I want to encourage his love for relaxing, even when I want him to get off the ever-loving couch. I want to invest in him, every day.

Gloriana Eloise

My sweet precious, wild and crazy, beautiful and adorable lady mina. I want to just exhaust all I've got on you. I'm praying for the grace to love you, adore you, correct you, disciple you, laugh with you, chase you, paint your nails, cook with you, clean up after you, go shopping with you, read the Bible to you, tickle-fight with you, and discipline you until it hurts. As Glory's daddy likes to say - "this contact-lens represents you and my eye represents my eye and I've got my eye on you - Gloriana Eloise". I've got my eye on my girl and my aim is to just wear out all I've got loving and leading her. So she can love and lead the world too. 

Benjamin Haddon

It's not hard to love a Benja. It will be hard to invest in a Benja in a way that allows me to know he might one day leave my arms, leave my lap, leave my house. But I will, little dude. I'll let you go. I'm going to try very hard to raise you up, just like the other two - and I promise, even if your Daddy has to ungrip my fingers from around your sweet little self, I'll let you go when the Lord calls you away. But I'm gonna make reaaaalllll nice with your wife so she'll bring you back every once in a while. 

and I'm finding some other minas too.  

this house of rest, and any one we move into in the future

Lord knows I'm not the most gifted homemaker in America, but I have to say, I love a vacuum. I love a houseguest or a dinner-guest and welcome baskets, and parting gifts and praying over the clean sheets I put on our bed when we're expecting company. As long as our family has a home, I pray the Lord will guide me in investing this mina well. To be a blessing to others and most importantly, His Kingdom. 

m.e.c.

A newfound piece of currency I'm finding in my paws is the fact that I'm an M.E.C. A mother of extraordinary circumstance. Yes, I made up this phrase. I've been a mama who's moved across country (twice), a mama of a husband in seminary, a mama of two children under two and a mama of three children under three. I've been a mama of a husband in ministry and a mama of a family in hard financial times, and a mama of a no-sleeper, and a mama of kids with MRSA and a mama with a thyroid disease. Trials, extraordinary circumstances, all of them - big or small... I'm done complaining about them and/or simply pretending they don't exist. I'm ready to use my M.E.C. status as a blessing for all you other M.E.C.'s out there. To pray for you as I do the dishes, to connect you with other ladies in your circumstance, to encourage you, to apply the gospel to our lives alongside of you. I'm still mulling this one over and it might take some time, but the Lord is doing something and I'm ready to use this mina. 

And that's all I've got for today. 

I've got some coins jingling in my pocket, some minas to invest. 

What about you? 

"slow" runners unite!

taken on a 4 miler in Charleston this weekend, probably my favorite run to date

When I first started running (aka - you know, sort of... right now) the thing I tended to feel (oh wait, still feel) the most anxiety about and constantly found myself asking other runners about (still asking, really) is time. Six months or so ago, when I decided to take the plunge of trying to become a runner - the only people I ever heard talk about running was bloggers. Really good running bloggers. The kind that run 8 minute miles for fun, all the time. Also the kind that try to win races. I immediately felt intimidated. 
I didn't have the right clothes. 
I didn't own a garmin.
I sure couldn't run an eight minute mile. 
I can barely brush my teeth in eight minutes.


But some creepy (awesome) thing in me kept me pumping, trying harder and harder. Running longer and longer distances. Still one of my favorite running memories and general memories all around was a morning back in October when I ran a miraculous 8.9 miles with a sweet new friend and thought for the first time, that I might actually be a legit runner. Not the kind that runs 8 minute miles, but my own kind. And now, all of a sudden, when people ask me about running - it's 90% always someone just like myself - a new, maybe even a non-runner, who feels intimidated and SLOW. 

So here are my words of very amateurish 

wisdom for new and slower runners. 

1. Slow is ok. 

Slow doesn't make you a bad runner, it might make you a GREAT runner. When I first started, I was trying to run 9-9.5 minute miles and actually pooping out around 1.5 miles, no matter what. It was TERRIBLY discouraging and defeating. It wasn't until I slowed down to a TWELVE AND A HALF MINUTES PER MILE pace that I was able to push past four miles. But suddenly, I could! And it wasn't as scary! It was still hard work - but not impossible. 

2. Don't throw out time altogether. 

I like being a casual runner. For now, I don't care much about wearing the right thing and knowing all the right terms, but it was helpful to learn a few things. Like negative splits. Here is a good article on those. And I'd say it's important to at the very least, know your times and push yourself with them. My favorite, favorite, favorite running tool (um... and only running tool) is Run Keeper. It's a wonderful app that you can use with an iphone or ipod and it's usually $10 but is FREE this month thru January.  Every five minutes it updates you with your total running time, total distance, and current pace - which is SUPER helpful for negative splits. Also, you can set a pace and it will tell you to hurry up or slow down. Then, AFTER you run - it sends you a beautiful little email with a map of where you ran, a cutey little graph that shows your pace each mile, and also keeps track of all your runs, forever. So great. Here are some screenshots from my runs this past week for example. 

negative splits for a 4 miler. that last mile felt like a victory fo' sho. 

overall run summary

a little 5K "race"

3. What do you know?! It gets better! 

This past week, I've seen the biggest (and maybe the first) real difference in my running. I'm not afraid of long runs and I'm definitely excited for short ones. My pace has drastically changed and I'm not even terrified of my upcoming half marathon. Eventually, it seems, if you keep at it, you feel less like a phony and more like an actual runner. 

Here's one last little tidbit for you. 
My current favorite running playlist. 

(warning: it's so schizophrenic it might make you have an episode really eclectic)

You go out a give it a try, lady. 
Or just listen to it while you brush your teeth!
Either way, enjoy. 


heaven is here Jesus Culture (video for you) 
single ladies Beyonce
beautiful things Gungor
our God Chris Tomlin
we cry out Jesus Culture
skeleton bones John Mark McMillan
open up the heavens Hillsong
get me bodied Beyonce
tip of my tongue The Civil Wars
sing my love Jesus Culture
lost! Coldplay
call me out Gungor
revelation song Jesus Culture
get higher Paper Tongues
trinity Paper Tongues (video for you) 


Love ya'll. Mean it. 
Happy Tuesday. 

toddler schedule mania

Goooooood morning everyone!!!!

Imagine me saying that with the most obnoxious morning-person voice ever. 

Did you know I'm a morning person? Obnoxiously so. 

Night person? Not so much. I went to bed at a time last night that started with 8. 

Last week when I couldn't figure out what to blog about, my sweet friend Jill prompted me to write about our current schedule with the kiddos. Bahahhahahahhahaa. I couldn't even help but laugh because just like we're currently living in the house of rest, we're been living in the schedule of rest too. We've been staying home 4/5 days and basically my only goal has been to have a tidy home at the end of the day. Other than that, it's been a free-for-all. So - I felt spurred on to fix that. 

There have been other seasons where I've meticulously planned out our day (even if it's spent entirely at home) and to some degree I've found that a plan is helpful with so many little ones ankle munching around. I've also found it's RIDICULOUSLY important to give yourself grace if you scrap the schedule at 9:20am. However, we've been living in a whoooooole lot of grace, if you know what I mean - so it's back to a schedule for us. 

So I made a pretty detailed plan for Monday & Tuesday - the two days I know we're staying at home all day, and I'll check back with with you and let you know how they go. If you're a mama of many, I hope it's encouraging and if if you're not - I hope it provides some comic relief to your day. 

(monday) 

5am: computer time for mom: emails, blogs, etc. (our computer also doubles as our tv right now so while I'd rather do something else at 5am, it's important that I get typing sort of things out of the way first. But: if I owe you an email, now you know why)
5:30: NC exercises

6am: quiet time/Bible reading

7:30am: Jessi get dressed

{E & G may wake up anytime from 6-7:30, I ask them to be either quietly watching tv or reading books in our living room}

8am: start prepping breakfast. NC off to work. 

8:30: TV off. Jessi, E & G eat breakfast. Work on Truthcards. 

9am: books/coloring quiet play while I do laundry & straighten up

9:30: song time! {learning songs together or dancing to Beyonce. It happens.}

10am: wake Benja up if he isn't already. Room time for Elias and Glory separately. 

{They do 15 minutes of separate room time, to get some time apart and practice playing on their own.}

10:30: play outside with our "motorcycles"

11am: quick rest on couch for kiddos, watch 1 show or read books while I prep lunch

11:30: lunch for kiddos, clean-up, first vacuum of the day, clean up toys

12:30: baths, dry our hair, lotion, & get dressed

{if you're keeping tabs, I plan on letting them play outside in their pj's and coats because I'm the one doing the massive amount of laundry in this home}

1pm: naps. I eat lunch, return emails, finish bible reading, rest, laundry. 

{Elias naps about 2/5 days and Glory naps about 4/5 days. Some days it's just an hour of them resting and watching a movie if I know naps are not an option. If Elias is up, he helps me do whatever I'm doing or just hangs out pretty quietly.}

3pm: snack. 

3:30: books, coloring, quiet play. 

4pm: clay craft time for all kiddos while I tidy house and prep dinner. 

4:45: free play and/or mom reading & playing with bebes. 

5:30: Daddy comes in. I catch my breath because he's so handsome. Quick updates on day and I'm out the door to go running & run an errand. I'll be back around 7:30 to see the big kids before bed and eat with NC. 

(tuesday) 

5am: up, Jessi to gym

6:15: home from gym, quiet time

7:30: get dressed

8am: breakfast prep

8:30: breakfast for E & G/work on our Truthcards.

9am: quiet books & reading/coloring

9:30am: set up a restaurant in our house for playtime!

10:15am: work on tying shoes, making beds, plan for E's birthday

{i don't want to talk about it. i don't want to talk about it. i don't want to talk about the fact that my baby is turning four. yikes. yikes. yikes.}

11am: roomtime, separately

11:30: one show or books during lunch prep

12pm: lunch

12:30: cleanup, cleanup all toys

1pm: naps. Jessi shower/prep dinner. 

3pm: snack and one show to recoup
3:30: play outside & gather pinecones for craft
4pm: pinecone craft while mommy cleans up
4:45: free play & tidy
5:30: wish Daddy was home, but he's working late. So prob 1 show while I fix dinner
6pm: Dinner, Bible reading, jammies, teeth brushing. 
7pm: begin bedtime mania 


..................................................
In all seriousness, I'm super thankful for these days to stay at home with my kiddos. It used to seem so daunting and as my giant-man-child, Elias, approaches four, it really feels like it's slipping by too quickly. These are the last days I'll have all three of them, home with me, all day and we all still like each other, so I feel like it's going ok. 
In other news - I'm excited about the things coming up on the blog this week!
 Here's a sneak peek of what's coming! (Lord knows I love a plan....) 
- How to/confessional/encouragement piece for slow runners of America 
- Tales from the Thrift, my latest Goodwill successes that are blowing my mind!
- Etsy update, showing you some goodies as I try to work on getting an Etsy shop up
- thoughts on "talents", a la Luke 19


But while we're still here, what's your schedule like? 
What do you love about it and what do you hate about it and 
when in the world do you find time to do your dishes?
(my answer: when the kids eat lunch) 

thrift & find

Tonight I had an itching to blog and nothing to blog about. 

I asked for suggestions on facebook & twitter and got some goooood ones. Posts that I'll definitely need to address in the near future. 

But, by the time I got suggestions, however - I'd already had an idea. 

Theresa commented on my last post that I should check out Pioneer Woman's Home & Garden page. I love the p-dub, but I'm always forgetting home & garden. Big Mistake. Big. 

Tonight I did some browsing and found she had linked to this great little site, Polyvore. This gist of it is you can make groupings of beautiful things. Fashion, home decor, any type, any style, any price, just go nuts (check out pdub's post, it's much more explanatory). Ya'll already know I'm not buying any new clothes this year, but I do have a big thrift run planned this weekend so I thought I'd plan out what precisely I'll be looking for - using Polyvore. 

Here's what I'll be scouting out. 

a. slim fit boyfriend jeans.

b. grandpa style cardigans.

c. denim shorts or jeans to be made into shorts. to be worn over tights or leggings.

d. more vintage loafers. mine are busted.

e. anything in chevron.

f. clunky shoes.

g. nautical or floral flowy tops always.

h. khaki shorts for legging wear as well.

i. funky glasses? who knows?

j. horizontal striped shirts for jeggings, shorts, or boyf jeans.

k. date night dresses in fun patterns.

l. buttondown or babydoll dresses.

m. man shirts + high waisted skirts + braided belt = my dream outfit.

n. greige still, duh. 

o. some lady pants. slim fit chinos or something of that nature. 

How about you?! 

What are you fancying for spring style? 

home improvements

I wanted to show you my new favorite things in the House of Rest. 
If you're new here, or just forget - here is the very short backstory. 
Our family used to live in Seattle (but we're from the south). We moved from Seattle in July with the intention to plant a church in Boston. We decided to make an undetermined-amount-of-time-pitstop in the South to have a season of rest & healing for our family. We're still moving to Boston and still planting a church. 
But for now, we live in this sweet little house of rest that God provided. 

Remember that beautiful table my father in law made? Here's how we're decorating it these days. 

My favorite piece of this ensemble: 

Our sweet friends Lauren & Troy made this for us. On their recent trip to Boston, they scouted out all the letters in our name from special signs & places in the city. We love it. We love talking to the kids about Boston at dinner and pointing at different places on the picture. 

Some other updates.

Since January is a big birthday month for us (Daddy & Elias), we're in full on paper-decoration-mode. Beginning with paper chains. 

And a homemade happy birthday pennant banner. 

Our new window to the wall, complete with mementos. 

Some of my fave tidbits. Elias & Glory pick from our backyard out west. 

Cuddling at Steph's wedding. 

I like this tidbit too. And her half monster face. 

And of course, this one too. It should be known, I'm also a big fan of their big brother - but he was too busy playing baseball to stand still. 

Suddenly, my profession home decor photo shoot turned 

into a professional wrestling exposition.

It happens.

But then I noticed, I like the view of the birthday pennant better from the floor. 

We're getting there in the area of decor!

It feels more homey each day! 

What's new in your home? 

.................................................................

Also, a follow-up to yesterday's post: After publishing that little essay on the shot, I received more than ten emails from women struggling. Women in pain or having a hard time or just struggling through things and needing to cry out a little. So a) of all - if I haven't emailed you back, I will. I seriously care, I'm just working my way through. b) I'm so thankful the Lord is using some of what I'm walking though, learning to be able to use my voice and cry out to the One who helps, to spur on other women to do the same thing. I labeled that post "talents" because I hope like in the parable of the talents, the Lord can help me to take this season and multiply what He's given me for His glory. So, not because I think I'm talented:) 

the shot

me holding my sweet almost 4 year old, when he was not yet 4 hours old. 

When I had my first baby, I first went into the hospital on a Saturday. I was in early labor. 
I had that joker on the following Wednesday. If you've had a baby, you can imagine what those days in between Saturday and Wednesday were filled with. Very little eating. A lot of walking. No sleeping. A few 4 a.m.'s journaling by the hospital room light and friends and balloons and contraction monitors and birthing balls. 


Of course, three c-sections later - I see how different things could have been and I've seen "The Business of Being Born" and I know a lot of that pain and toil wasn't necessarily necessary. But that Saturday-Wednesday, I was on a mission. I wanted my son to be born. I wanted to do it naturally. 
And I. WASN'T. GOING. TO. CRY. Or quit. Or freak out. 
(To be truthful you should know at one point, I did in fact cry. My sister was already crying and my mother and my midwife were both urging me to cry or cuss or something.)


But this isn't a melodramatic essay about my regrets over my heavily-intervention filled birthing experience, it's about the shot I received a few hours after my baby was out of my body. I was exhausted and a little traumatized, way too tired to connect with my son properly and I was itching like a madwoman. Just uncontrollably clawing my face off, ripping the skin right off like it's what I was created to do, some reaction to some medicine I'd been given. And so, the sweet nurse who was attending me and was worried I was going to itch my whole flesh off - came in and insisted I get another shot to ease the whole itching side affect. 


But to be totally honest, I was dunzo. No more pain for me. I'd been contracting and pacing and grunting and cut open and I was drawing a line. I'd successfully held in a few days of pain (minus the brief aforementioned intervention) and I wasn't going to take one more ounce of hurt. I didn't want a shot. I didn't want anyone else to touch me or take my temperature or even look at me. And I told her that, as politely as I could. A few seconds later, she pushed that needle in anyhow, and I'm so glad she did or else I wouldn't have a normal outer layer of skin to this day. 


That's what this season feels like for me. 
The babies and the ministry and the maternity home and the moving cross country and the finances and the husband in school and the diapers and the sorrow of friends and the leaving and the going away parties and the stomach bugs and the thyroid disease and the long flights with three children. The hours spend crying to the Lord and the hard talks and the wiping my eyes during sermons and the funerals and the nights of joy that ended, with mornings where the sun seemed to shine a little too brightly. 


To be honest, it's mostly over now and here I am with this handsome husband and these three beautiful children and a future on the horizon and a hope in my Savior. Friends to have coffee with, friends who love my babies and friends to call in Seattle and talk to them semi-hilariously-breathlessly as I run on the treadmill. Family a few hours away, either way, close by to visit and cherish. This house of rest, with her sloped ceiling and handmade paper decor. The occasional datenight. Daily tickle-fights with my babies and long talks about letters and numbers and why Jesus died on the cross. So many good things. 


And yet - don't you dare bring that shot to my bedside. 
I'm sensitive in a way I've never been before, in a way that you can only be if you've gritted your teeth for five years and refused to let too many tears roll down your cheek. I'm crying out to the Lord about silly things, or things that seem silly in comparison to where we've been. After all these years of labor and work, the sweat is just now starting to pour and my muscles are tired from holding on and I'm feeling - really feeling pain and ouch, ouch, ouch. It hurts. 


So this is for you ladies. If you're in the middle of labor, you just grunt and groan like a crazy lady. Don't hold it in or lock it up or pretend it isn't there. Cry out to Him. Call out to Him. Ask Him for help and for the love of all that's good, for the love of Him and His work within you, ask other people for help. 
I'm doing it all the time these days. 
And it's lovely. 
I mean, it's obnoxious and makes me feel weak, 
but you know what 2 Corinthians says about our weakness and His power. 
Cry out, sister. Right now. 

posterity, consistency, and um...

(edited: I have never read a post with more grammar mistakes and misspellings. I almost left it as is to show my frazzled state, but it was making me nauseous. I'm sure I still missed a few) 

This year I got to thinking about the old blog and I thought, this is it. 
"This is the year I do it well or I quit that junk."
I either want it to be a real, entertaining, beautiful catalyst for community that makes everyone smile and or/want to go meet their best friend for coffee or go on a run with your sister, having the time of your life - or I want to quit. I decided three main things were missing. 


1. posterity. 
I spend too much time thinking about what people might like to read, rather than writing about our family so we can all sit round the laptop one day and read it. 
2. consistency. 
If planned well, it takes about 6 minutes to write a blog. Maybe 13. If you get crazy with the links, it could take 30. I can make that time and probably should for my own sanity. 
3. I forgot what #3 was. 


When Thursday and Friday started looking a little hectic, I decided to just give myself a pass on the consistency for those days and forget the old blog, but one of my favorite ladies from the west called me out and to be totally honest - 
I'd do just about anything to make Lauren smile. 

Withdrawal symptoms are the worst, no one should have to deal with that.

I know because I don't eat frozen yogurt anymore. 

(violent stomach aches + date nights don't mix)

So, real quick - here is a bullet point list for posterity that I hope makes you want to go be with a friend this week. At the very least, if you're within driving distance of me - I hope it makes you want to come hang out with me because I'm pretty sure a playdate or coffee date would have made this last week much better. (guilt trip)

this past week:

- We were pretty much snowed in. I mean, I could drive but it made me nervous and I let Nick take the car to save gas money, so we spent Monday-Thursday in the house - unable to go even play in the yard due to the ice covered grass. Two words. STIR CRAZY. 

- Here was my actual to-do list for Thursday. 

(I think the 4th item from the bottom was going to say "review secondary colors" but I forgot. The bottom does in fact say "not lose my ever loving mind" and I feel like I can check that off the list.)

- I really LOVE CJane's vlog for today. I think it is hilarious. This is for personal posterity - to remind me of the things that I loved way back when I changed sixteen diapers a day. 

- Another place on the interwebs I super suggest is Peas & Thank You. 

(For posterity sake, I'll also tell you that when Mama Pea emailed me once this week, Nick semi-rebuked me for being so excited. I couldn't help it. I'm a big fan.) 

- I get to see baby Asher today! And hopefully the rest of his family! 

- This is an actual texting conversation between Nick and I today. Sometimes I find it necessary to brag to him about household accomplishments. This was a huge one!

Getting Benja's blanket away from him long enough to wash it! 

- Nick's birthday is this weekend! I really like him. 

- Elias is alllll about some cuddling! It's like he's six months old again! Yesterday, he asked me to come cuddle with him and then he grabbed my hand and made me interdigitate. It was kind of awesome. 

- Glory is on some kind of intense sleep strike. We're all kind of tired. But whining was not one of my new years blog resolutions.  

- I'm feeling very behind in half marathon training and a little anxious about it. I've only been able to do some meesly long runs and then one or two other short runs each week. 

I hope I can get back on track this week. 

- Last night on our grocery trip, I bought our first mostly vegan week of groceries for everyone. I still bought bacon. Cause come on, it's my husband's birthday weekend! 

- I'm extremely worried this blog is just too random to do any good for this world. 

And so, I'll quit. (this post, not the whole blogging enterprise)

Lauren, I won't let you down next week. Well, poop. 

I'll try really hard not to let you down next week, but I might:) 

But nobody needs to go through withdrawal!