We did it! We’re gone!
If you’re reading this blog post, it’s safe to assume that the Connolly family is officially on vacation. We’ve gone on some mini family trips before, but this feels like our first ever real nuclear family VACATION. Both taking time away from other commitments (well, jobs), drawing away from social media and the online world, taking our precious kiddos and going somewhere fun. Or in our case, a few fun places!
We’re doing a little NC/SC tour to visit family and friends, with hopefully a few stolen “just us” days and moments to grow together as a family. And if you’d like to pray for us while we’re gone, girl – I sure wouldn’t tell you not to. The thing is: we have been going a zillion miles a minute since we moved to Fort Wayne a few months ago. Which is of course, sad and ironic, since that is one of the major things I’d hoped we’d grow in as we switched cities and communities.
And it’s good stuff! It’s fruitful ministry and community we love and a growing print shop and a conference and fun house projects and serving and kids activities and all good things. All God things! But it’s ridiculously busy, it’s not a life we’d want others to duplicate or learn from us. And specifically this gal, with the frizzy hair and the coffee breath, she needs to break some patterns.
The super wise and beautiful lady who disciples me (Elizabeth) was giving me wisdom about rest and work and reminding me how fruit comes. She said, “the further you’re willing to swing into rest, the more fruitful your work will be – whatever it is”. And that’s the main point for me. I know that fear keeps me from swinging into rest. I fear many, many things but some of the massive ones that I let drive me are: completely messing up my kids, being a horrible wife and helpmate, not being liked or accepted, letting others down, and being misunderstood. And when I’m operating in those fears, I refuse to rest. I toil at home instead of giving up on good things I should. I toil with my children, trying to make them into miniature saints instead of loving them for who God has made them to be. I bypass loving my husband in the name of serving him. I check my email constantly and work till the wee hours of the morning. And I’m done swinging so far into work and toil that I can’t remember how to rest.
Really, I’m doing swinging into fear. And I’m ready to swing in to love.
And one quick side note: this is important for me. This is life changing for ME. But I have a desire bigger than that too. This new generation of women coming up – the one I see in real life, and the one I see online. You women whose hearts cheer at the idea of Influence, the hundreds of you who rejoiced at the idea of She Reads Truth, the bloggers, the mamas, the Sashes girls, the wives, the aunts, the friends, the ladies, the gals who are really about leveraging our WHOLE LIVES – online and off – to make much of Jesus. I don’t want this to be our story any more. I have this deep longing for this to be a new generation of women with a new song. Not the same old “I can’t do it all and I’m bummed about it and I’m overextended” but more like, “God has gifted me in THIS way & given me this life and He is giving me wisdom and grace and joy about listening to Him and living for Him.” So I’ve got to sing that song too.
Last Friday, I was so encouraged by the reading in She Reads Truth.
2 Timothy 1:6 says, “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear – but of power and love and self control.”
And my heart cries, “YES”.
Less fear, more fanning the flame of Him.
More of His power, His love, His self control radiating.
I’m praying that two weeks away will give us the time to reset and that the Lord will fan into flame the gifts He wants used. That He’ll give us wisdom about rhythms to change and patterns to break and ones to put on, if He so chooses. I’m gonna be putting down my phone, looking my kids in the eye for days on end, seeking Him, playing, enjoying my family, and following my husband’s lead.
But of course, the blog won’t be silent.
I’ve lined up some precious ladies to guest post and pulled a few “oldies but goodies” out of the blog arsenal. I hope you’ll come (you know – IF you have time!!!) and read and encourage the other gals.
I’ll be back in a few weeks.
I’m swinging into rest.