I just can't seem to get it right.
I want to have a good balance of good stuff + real stuff.
Without writing a blog post that will take you the length of Les Mis to read.
Can we strike a deal, friend?
I'm about a zillion weeks pregnant and the slightest thing brings me to tears. I'd really like to write an awfully real recap of all the sweet bits and the hard bits of 2012 mixed in. I'd really like to tell you about what was REALLY going on in my heart as we moved to Fort Wayne in January, or how it felt to sit in the hospital with Glory after her second crazy set of seizures in July. It would probably do me some good to write/process through the things I learned the hard way (via failure) as a wife and pastor's wife this year. And the Lord knows I could write pages and pages on all I learned about the vulnerability + attack that comes when you step out and try to do something (or a few things) crazy.
But, I'm hormonal. And I need to end the year just counting my blessings and praising God for the sweet bits. Will you trust me that there were hard bits and it is for both of our goods that I'm not sharing them? My intention is not to pretend like it's all tidy up in here.
It's just to end the year with a resounding Hallelujah.
Thank you, Jesus.
And without further ado,
my favorite sweet bits of 2012.
|volunteers praying at Chosen, Ebug - a whole year ago, the house before we moved in, Nick getting ordained|
- In early January, I got to see my mama and about a hundred other volunteers pull of a huge, massive, amazing conference. I had no clue I'd be asking my mom for conference advice for the rest of the year at that time! I was also super honored to lead a breakout session at that conference that really led to me writing Be Quiet.
- In late January, I got to see my oldest son have an earnest conversation with His Father, His Heavenly one. And witnessing the fruit of the conversation the rest of the year has been a sweet bit times one billion.
- In February, our kiddos adjusted super well to moving and they loved the snow and we found our house in Fort Wayne. And I spent a day cleaning it and feeling like A Lady in Downtown Abbey because it's bigger than any house we've ever lived in.
- I also got to see my husband become an official pastor, even though he'd been unofficially pastoring me for years and years.
|celebrating seizure-free, getting Influence crazy, hosting all the people, vacation.|
- In March we celebrated Glory-girl's year free of seizures. It was such a joyous day.
- In April, Hayley and I had a crazy-town conversation in which we said, "Should we have a conference?!"
- During the spring, our little community at Gospel Community grew and grew and I was so blessed to find people constantly in our home. I'm still super blessed by that!
- In early June, we went on vacation!!! Woohoo! On vacation we played a TON with our kids, I wrote an eBook and we found out we were pregnant. How's that for productive?
|1st ultrasound of many, live facetimebirthing, bedrest begins, these guys|
- In July, we release the eBook but what was REALLY exciting about that day is that our eBook release day was also our first ultrasound with Baby4. Honestly, by that point - I could care less about the eBook. Seeing that heartbeat was just incredible.
- In September, I watched my sister give birth via facetime which was overwhelming and amazing on about 200 different levels.
- A week later, while I was in South Carolina visiting her and her sweet new babe, our baby made it through a really traumatic night in the hospital and lived to tell the tale. This started the second half of my pregnancy off on a more dramatic note - one that would include bedrest, frequent bleeding, and an ultrasound at every appointment. But here we are! Still holding strong!
- Our family also got in a sweet little rhythm of being full-time-small-business owners + being in full-time ministry. Sometimes this looked more like NO RHYTHM but it also meant quick little lunches together and impromptu outings and daytrips. And those were worth all the worknights and hectic weeks.
|the calm before the storm, THIS MOMENT, worship, my Influence|
October brought The Influence Conference and the promise of The Influence Network.
My fave moments from those days:
- the afternoon before the conference started, sitting on the floor with Moriah and Hayley. I could NOT stop crying. I was just so overwhelmed that THIS. WAS. HAPPENING.
- THIS MOMENT. Praying with my allies. My sisters.
- Worshipping with 200+ women. Screaming "Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul" with them.
- Returning home to my first place of Influence, my family. And knowing God has made me for both of these worlds.
The rest of the year has brought a quiet sweetness.
Another TWO trips to Charleston. LOTS of work in the shop.
Thanksgiving with Hayley and fam.
It's not that I don't want to share, it's just that maybe I'm still soaking it up!
I don't even think I could do a real Christmas-recap post because I genuinely took about NO pictures. I just looked back at my kiddos and talked to my family and ate. And ate.
And rubbed my hand over sweet baby4.
The rest of the year has been filled with quiet, space-filled talks about what 2013 will be like. What it should be like. What it needs to be like.
And I want to end it here.
Just saying, Bless the Lord - Oh My Soul.
You did way more than I could have asked or imagined.
And I will open my arms to whatever this next year might hold.
I have a few sponsorship spots open still for January if you're interested.
Email me ASAP for details!